Let’s talk motivation for a sec.
What motivates you to do what you do?
Knowing WHO are you actually working for is a huge motivator when times get hard.
As an artist, the path isn’t always easy. We all get blocked. The inspiration well runs dry. It happens. You can feel angry or depressed (both signs of a blocked artist). You can lose your joy. You can lose your focus. Especially when you start getting lost in the weeds of self-doubt.
Trying to be an artist with self doubt is like you’re trying to swim to the other side of the pool with a ball and chain weighing you down. You’re barely staying afloat and you look around and everyone else is reaching the finish line with ease.
Thirteen years making art and nine of those years working as a full time artist and I’m still not 100% immune to the self doubt goblin.
But I’ve found some ways of working through it faster. So I’m gonna share it with you now.
The main way for me is to know WHO I’m doing all this for.
Who are you doing it for? Who do you not want to let down and disappoint? Who do you want to be an example to? Who do you need to be able to hold your head up high with pride that you’re a warrior and you never gave up?
This could be a child, a grandchild, a spouse, a parent.
Or YOU. All that matters is you find your WHO. So that when you’re blocked, tired, distracted, low on passion, dedication, determination, and steam…
You can connect back to your WHO and do it for them.
My WHO is my twelve year old self.
The girl who was wicked smart, funny, imaginative, and loving. But who had little prospects of living an inspired life. Let alone reaching her full potential.
The little girl that was rejected by her own father.
The girl who was wrecked feeling like she was unloveable, unimportant, underestimated, unwanted. In the way.
The twelve year old skinny, freckle-faced, crooked teeth girl who carried a huge weight of pain in her heart.
Not much was expected of her except to be a good girl and get married one day. Maybe have a good job.
The one who loved making art, but didn’t know you could be an artist as an adult. The girl who got so excited about an art school brochure at sixteen, but got told no.
But I’m committed to her. I owe her everything she was denied. I fight for her when self-doubt tries to needle its way back in. I make art for her. I travel the world for her because she dreamed of places beyond her small town.
I forge a path for her in this contemporary world of being an artist. I build my business for her to show her there’s abundance available since all she knew was lack.
I stay inspired, grateful, and joyful in the work for her because she deserves that. She deserved to be happy and living her best life.
So I choose to say no to drama and dread. I choose to be tenaciously optimistic even when she wants to feel sad or mad.
So who’s your WHO?
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below or shoot me an email!
Remember, life is full of beauty and inspiration if you look for it.
P.S. I hope you enjoy my new Spring Series paintings! Gosh I had so much fun painting them! I’ll be releasing the Spring Flowers MasterClass over on my education site this Friday. So pop over there then. If you’re not on my education email list, sign up here to get notified and special discounts.
P.P.S. Congratulations to Annette S. for winning my Spring Showers Bring May Flowers Giveaway!!!
3 thoughts on “Who are you working for?”
Holy moly, Kelli! Your story made me almost break down in tears! Oh Susan! You both are artist-warriors for overcoming such horrible discouragement!
When I was 8yo, I wanted to be an architect. I was a smart kid who read a lot, drew and made things for the dollhouse my dad made for me at 14. Somewhere along the line though, it was determined that “Amy isn’t good at math,” which is pretty crucial to becoming an architect. The sad part is I WAS good at math, until 7th/8th grades, when I had two perfectly awful teachers who completely hamstring me for higher math (beyond algebra,). The discouragement continued into young adulthood, where my late dad officially pronounced that no architect gets their name on a design until they become partner at 50, and certainly no women are among them (this was the 1980s). That pretty much killed my dreams of being an architect.
I tried landscape architecture, as I’m a Certified Master Gardener, but dropped out of the program.
What I have become, ironically, is an amateur architectural historian. This came about by complete serendipity. I feel proud and comfortable in this, yet with a twinge of saint for not pursuing it in college when I was younger. It might have changed my life!
Thank you so much for sharing Susan! Your story, drive, and passion made my heart smile 🙂 Keep your 15-year-old self as motivation to keep pursuing everything you want in life because it is MORE than possible. You have the skill and heart to make it all happen and I feel honored to be a part of your journey in getting there.
Kelli,
YOu speak words of your 12 year old self like I was in my 15 year old self. I always wanted only to be in my heart of hearts an artist. Throughout my childhood. My Dad told me he didn’t want me to live in my car….I am the first inmy family to go and graduate from college. I had no idea about college except the Art Institute of Seattle (they visited my High school once when I was a Sophmore. i was so excited but it was sooo expensive. I went to University of Montana Western and my favorite teacher there of drawing, painting, and art history told me I could go into education and be a professional artist also. He said teach high school, get your craft down and teach at college level. I have done that-now as a seasoned art educator and full-time professor and a professional artist-I find I do not have enough time to be my best self or able to reach my full potential that I KNOW is in there. I have enough years in to retire-but-I am young and do not want to outlive my money by retiring too soon…I am comitted to that 15 year old girl and keep plugging away and hope and pray one day soon I reallly can be able ot put my whole self into painting primarily and teaching minorly….I am a hard worker and am DETERMINED to make it happen some how. I am big hearted and enjoy inspiring my students-I must balace that and leave a lot of room for my 15-yearold self.
The world is a little crazy now and the Flathead Valley in Montana is a hot spot for new residents-living here is more and more expensive.
All this to say is thank you for helping me see myself and articulate my internal stuggle – and that all things are possible. I paint my heart out in the summer…that begins now.
Gratitude Always, Susan XOXO